R: 0 / I: 0
I sat down with a stack of comics to ease myself into Sunday evening, and do some relaxing before sleeping the night away and waking to the stress of Monday.
The first issue I read is Stained #5. It's the last issue of Stained, unless it gets continued for another arc. This book wraps up the initial storyline, and in a manner that makes it feel like a Michael Bay movie.
The first 4 pages are amazing, they have a great buildup to the final battle by showing a flashback to how the antagonist got to be the way he is. There is a scene where a girl is chained up to a wall, and his father is pushing him to break the girl so taht she is like his dog, loyal and obedient.
The problem is, immediately after this it turns into an action flick that is so unbelievable that it breaks the engagement built up from the last 4 issues. The protagonist, a female that has a mechanical arm, proceeds to beat up 14 full grown men in just a couple of panels, then uses one of them to block bullets that no one ever fired. Afterwards she gets into a fight with a trained assassin, and it is setup like there is going to be an epic fight. THe female assassin is fast, strong, and exchanging blows really well. She surprises our hero and gets two knives buried into the heroes back.
The knives are then ripped out, upward, and leave huge holes. Then the protagonist punches the assassin and the fight is over. What the fuck? Talk about a case of blue balls. The villian has made his way to a getaway semi truck, which of course our hero jumps onto the hood of, then gets shot a billion times… well I mean, she would have, but she is so fast she avoids bullets, and has some stupid line as she pulls the driver from the truck.
Bad guy gets killed, somehow she escapes a facility that is crawling with other trained soldiers (we aren't shown how she got away) and makes it home. Cut to a television with the news on it, talking about how these girls are now rescued (apparently she found all the kidnapped girls, this wasn't explained either) and all the bad guys are murdered. Show the hero in her apartment, with one of the girls she rescued. The girl doesn't want to go home, but wants to stay with the hero. Hero is on the phone, and asks her handler what the next job is. The final panel shows the rescued girl laying in bed, with a fucking robotic arm!
It's 2 pages of story, and 30 pages of fight scenes that don't make any sense, and don't explain anything about the world, the characters, or the actions of the hero and how she prevails.
So now I'm upset because this book is complete shite, and I don't want to read anything else tonight. I look up the publisher, 451Entertainment, and it's FUCKING OWNED BY MICHAEL BAY.
Lads, skip this trade if you see it. It's a trick. The first few issues are super interesting, but it falls apart at the end. It completely jumps off the rails, and falls apart so badly.